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Do you know how to love?

Love heart.jpgDo you know how to love? 

The days between Passover and Shavuot would be best described as bittersweet. On the one hand we are excited, counting the days, anxiously awaiting the receiving of the Torah on Shavuot, on the other hand, they are very solemn days as well.

These are the days which we mourn the tragic death of Rabbi Akiva's twenty four thousand students. We are taught that the reason for this travesty was the lack of respect the students gave one another. But how can this be, these were no ordinary Torah scholars, these were the students of Rabbi Akiva, one of the greatest sages that ever lived? More importantly, he was the one who preached so strongly about loving one's fellow.

How is it possible that his students whom were so attached to him were unable to take this to heart? It was however, not that they didn't internalize this message properly, but on the contrary, it was because they loved each other so much like one flesh that it bothered them that the other didn't agree and interpret that which they were studying in the same way as he.

Of course, this too was no good. Love on your own terms is not love at all.

We often find this dynamic in our relationships, be it with our spouses (I still maintain the word should be spice!), children, parents, co-workers etc. We love them so much that we want them to do things just the way we want it. It bothers us that they don't see it the way we do. If they would just get it. If they would open their eyes and see the light!

But to love is to tolerate, to understand, to respect. It doesn't mean to become so unified that you only have one mind, one thought, one consistent emotion and intellect. It's that understanding that you are you and I am me but together we are us. Our conbined ideas, emotions and feelings what makes our relationships special, exciting and worth having.

During these mournful days, we take the time to celebrate, Lag B'Omer. To break out to the great outdoors, representative of leaving our own personal confines and being open to others and socialize and enjoy each other. In this way rectifying the wrong that Rabbi Akiva's students misunderstood.

Don't miss our community BBQ this Sunday, April 28, 3-6 pm at our home. There will be a water slide, bows and arrows, volleyball, delicious food and awesome Live Jewish Gypsy music by Gyorgy Lakatos!

And of course.... wonderful company!

A very special thank you to our dedicated volunteers: Michael and Shelly Paolercio, Stan and Lois Miller, Pam Fanara, Linda Weiss (FL), Pattie and Jared Light and Mickey and Cookie Gottlieb.

Cruising the High Seas....

cruise.jpgChana and I have the good fortune of having fabulous friends! Point in case, this week we were gifted a special trip in honor of our ninth anniversary; four days on a cruise ship. Being on a cruise is truly an awesome experience. A mobile city, with sophistication second to none, set afloat upon the high seas.

It's interesting, nobody ever says that they're planning an airplane ride. Rather, they say that they're going to Italy or to Israel. The flight there is merely the means to the ends, the journey to the destination. Amazingly, when it comes to cruising, you rarely hear of the destination. Instead, people are simply 'going on a cruise'. Where you're headed is not nearly as important as how you're getting there!

How often do you find yourself holding your breath, refusing to enjoy life until you pass the next hurdle: an exam, an interview, a medical result, a promotion, a child, a relationship....you get the picture. So often, we are hyper focused on 'getting somewhere' only to suddenly begin hoping for the next big thing, subconsciously refusing to just stop and smell the roses.

That's why I love hearing people say that they're just going on a cruise: the emphasis is on the journey, not on the destination. 

As a teenager, sitting for hours on my dentists chair as he worked on my teeth, I'd ponder the image on his wall that gently stated: 'Life is what happens to you in between all things that you plan'. Or as we say in Yiddish: 'A Mentsch tracht un G-t lacht'- 'Man plans and G-d laughs'

So chill out and take a cruise! If you can't do it from the Port of Miami, then do it from the comfort of your armchair. Stop taking yourself too seriously, take a deep breath and relax. Recognize that there is a G-d in the Heavens who has everything (somehow) under control and that all we can do is try our best, regardless of the actual outcome!

Wherever you're going, just remember to enjoy the ride.
And of course, having fabulous friends always makes for a better journey!

Wishing you as Shabbat of peace and purpose,

Rabbi Dovid and Chana Vigler 

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