I’ve been repeatedly asked to share my thoughts on the ‘Women of the Wall’. I’m sorry this isn’t as short as I normally try to keep my entries, but even this doesn’t encapsulate all my thoughts on this subject matter.
‘Women of the Wall’.
On June 7, 1967, IDF paratroopers advanced through the Old City toward the Temple Mount and the Western Wall, bringing Jerusalem’s holiest site under Jewish control for the first time in 2000 years. There are recordings of this most emotional day. The exuberant cries of the commander of the brigade, Lt. General Mordechai (Motta) Gur exclaiming “The Temple Mount is in our hands! I repeat, the Temple Mount is in our hands!”
Then, with tears in his eyes he turned to his brigade and said, “For some two thousand years the Temple Mount was forbidden to the Jews. Until you came — you, the paratroopers — and returned it to the bosom of the nation... You have been given the great privilege of completing the circle, of returning to the nation its capital and its holy center...Jerusalem is yours forever.”
This wall is not just a ‘holy site’, but a symbol. It is the closing of the circle. The Jewish circle.
Women and Men
I grew up as an only daughter, the oldest, with five younger brothers. People always asked if I was spoiled and my mother always liked to say that we were all spoiled. Only, I got things that were of interest to me while my brothers had entirely different interests. They often begged me to come play ball with them so that they could have even teams and they were super nice and didn’t mind that I wasn’t exactly a sportsman, but frankly, I was happier playing house or better yet, school. I LOVED being a teacher. And they were really not much interested in being my students.
So, while we were very much equal in our household, we were most certainly different. Because, whether you like it or not, men and women are different.
Judaism recognizes that a woman matures at twelve years old while it takes men an entire extra year. That’s why girls celebrate their bat mitzvah at twelve while boys celebrate their bar mitzvah at thirteen. Because we are different.
Women use women’s locker rooms, while men go to men’s locker rooms. Because we are different.
Equal but Different:
No one can really say whether the Iphone or the Android is a better phone. Lexus or Mercedes? Pepsi or Coke? They are all good products, each with their own system of maintenance and care.
Is a heart more or less important than a brain? Obviously they are both equally important, just with different functions. If a heart was treated by a neurosurgeon, disaster would ensue!
Years ago, if a person was left handed they would train her to use her right hand. Today, we know this practice is ridiculous and appreciate each person for who they are. Don’t we try to impart this to our young children? “This little boy may have a great voice, but you are a wonderful artist...”.
The Kaballah teaches us that the same principle of equal but different applies to Men and Women. Each has a unique spiritual path to G-d. For a man whose nature is to conquer (as Kabbalistically expressed by his anatomy), his path to G-d must be more concrete and therefore includes a Kippah, Tallis and daily minyan. For a Woman, whose nature is to nurture (as Kabbalistically expressed in her anatomy), her path to G-d is more aesthetic and pure.
She doesn’t struggle as man does with faith. Indeed, Moses would teach the women first, because they had a much easier time relating to his Divine messages.
It is for this reason that men where a kippah, or Yarmulka which means fear before G-d, as a constant reminder that G-d is above. To imply that although he may seem to be on top of his game, the CEO of a large firm or corporation, he mustn’t forget that there is a G-d even above him.
A woman on the other hand, never forgets. A woman has her home and her family on her mind all the time. Not to say that men don’t, but it’s entirely different. A woman who is busy with her family and her children on a constant basis never forgets that there is a G-d above her and needs no reminders. I often say that each child has their own personal angel. As a mother of five small children, I see G-d all the time.
At the mall, you will find that there is the clothing section, the shoes section and even a section for accessories. Are shoes inferior to apparel or is apparel inferior to shoes? Ditto in the synagogue. We do have a separation between men and women. Do you know why? Because while women are excellent multi taskers, men are not. They can either focus on the task at hand, namely, prayer and connecting to G-d or on their wife. Yes, there is a time and place for everything and while we put a very strong emphasis on family time, we also emphasize our relationship with G-d. After the services is the time when the family should sit together with no TV or cell phones and focus on each other.
Know your special worth. Know that, as a Jewish woman, you are a princess of G-d, so why are we trying to be somebody else? Innovate, don’t imitate!
Without rules, chaos ensues:
Living a short distance from the beach, I know, in fact I’ve seen people get arrested for tanning in the nude. But that’s how they enjoy the beach best, I heard the sunbathers tell the cops, who do they think they are to deny them this basic tenet for basking in the pleasures of the sun?
Should any group that claims feelings for the wall be allowed uninhibited expression? How about Jews for Jesus? Should they too be allowed to have organized prayer there because of their beliefs? The possibilities are obviously endless and would always offend someone!
For women to want to behave as men do in prayer is their prerogative. If these women wanted to pray this way in their own homes or any designated house of worship, I hardly think the mishtara (Israeli police) would come looking for them.
What confuses me is to why the ‘women of the wall’ feel compelled to do so at the wall, a wall that represents tradition, the closing of the circle.
alisa majer wrote...