Did you know that it's a Mitzvah to get divorced?!
I'm not kidding! Unlike Catholics, Jews are commanded to get divorced! But don't get excited, it's not that you have to get divorced, it's just that if you do, you mustget a Get!
Amazingly, the Torah devotes a whole section this week to the laws of divorce, but nowhere in the Torah do we find the laws of Marriage! In fact, the Laws of Jewish Marriage are derived from the verses that deal with divorce!
How does this make any sense? Why would marriage be born of divorce? You couldn't possibly get divorced if you weren't married!?
Beyond what meets the eye, lies a profound message in healthy human relationships: In order to marry you do indeed need to have a symbolic divorce first.
You see- most people think that marriage is about two people sharing everything! They live together, share a bank account, credit scores and even family names. My wife and I once saw a house with a massive master bedroom. In the center of the bedroom was a bathroom, with no walls! They were so in love, they claimed, that they needed no privacy from ach other!
But the Torah subtly hints to us that even within the harmony of marriage there must be clear cut fences- there must be a sense of privacy and modesty.
Like the waves of the ocean reach forwards and then withdraws; Like the beating of the heart that is in and out; Like the economy that grows and recedes; Like the sun rises and sets, anything that is alive must be in perpetual motion of progression and retraction.
Relationships too need times of embrace and times of retreat. Like an exquisite symphony of alto and base, human relationships thrive when given space to retreat after each union.
So if you love someone then give them some space. Show them you love and trust them even when they're not totally in your embrace.
As for reading text messages, whilst American Law has conflicting ruling son its permissibility in divorce wiretapping cases, Torah Law expressly forbids violating the privacy of your loved one.
It might be tough to relate to, but take a moment and meditate on this, it might just bring your relationship to new higher heights you never knew existed!