Dear Friends,
This week we celebrate Tu B'Av- the Jewish Festival of Relationships.
For some reason this holiday is not very well known, but in ancient days, it was the solution to the 'dating crisis' we experience today. Approximately 1200 BCE when many were struggling to find a mate, the “daughters of Jerusalem would go dance in the vineyards” on the fifteenth of the month of Av, and “whoever did not have a wife would go there” to find himself a bride.
The Talmud states that “There were no better days for the people of Israel than the 15th of Av since on this day the daughters of Israel would go out dressed in borrowed white clothing, so as not to embarrass anyone who did not have nice clothes… And the daughters of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards located on the outskirts of the city, and say: "Young man, lift up your eyes and choose wisely. Don’t look only at physical beauty – look rather at family” (Talmud Taanit 30b-31a).
Relationships are like Gardens- They can't just be installed and ignored. They need to be tended to with love, sensitivity and hard work. All that it takes to destroy a beautiful garden is......nothing. Same thing with a relationship. With hard work, dedication and humility, it will thrive. But if neglected, it will wither and die.
Please enjoy these great relationship tips from my friend Rabbi Yitzi Hurwitz, Chabad Rabbi in Temecula, CA who is battling ALS:
1) When she does or says something hurtful. Which WILL happen. Just forget what she said or did. Women get emotional and and irrational.
But be careful, she will never forget anything you do "wrong".
2) Before you criticize her, ask yourself if it really matters in the long run, are you better off letting things slide?
3) Be ready and happy to go to counseling. Even and especially in the first year. You will be grateful if you do. Better deal with a small issue now and learn to get along, than a huge unfixable problem later.
Simply put. What makes sense to you, sounds silly to her and vice versa. Because women think in a totally different way. Counseling will help.
4) Find ways to make her laugh every day.
Women think too much and they need a rest from their brain chatter. Laughter gives them rest from it. She will appreciate it. It doesn't matter, even small funny things.
5) Never raise your voice. It effects women with an instinct to be afraid, flee and protect. You will have a hard time getting back to normalcy.
You might not realize that among men we raise our voice a lot. It's hard to change gears.
We yell to make a point. Women only yell if they are angry. When your voice goes up they register he is angry at me.
6) Compliment her every day. Find things to compliment. It could be something she did. Something she is wearing. Let her know that you notice and value her.
7) Buy her flowers. Flowers say a lot.
It says I like you. It says I am thinking of you. It says I appreciate you. It says you are beautiful to me. It says you are a princess that deserves pretty things.
It says ״although I'm a guy and flowers that will die in a week are the biggest waste of money and makes absolutely no sense, you are still more than worth it to me".
If you are low on cash buy one flower or, even better, pick some wild flowers.
8) Ignore statements such as "you don't have to buy me a gift for my birthday".
Buy her a gift.
9) Treat her with respect. Do chivalrous things. Open the door for her. Help her on with her coat. Help her into her seat. Bring her tea in a pretty cup and sit with her and listen. Let her feel taken care of. Make her feel like a princess. Every woman wants to feel like a princess. Of course you won't be able to do it all the time, but do it often enough that she knows.
10) When she gets dressed nicely, take a moment and notice and tell her how pretty she looks. She spent a lot of time and energy getting dressed. Let her know that you appreciate her. Learn these words...
Pretty, Elegant, Classy, Amazing, Gorgeous, Exquisite, Stunning, Breathtaking.
Try to use the right term.
This is by no means finished. I hope to continue with more. Hope it brings a positive change to your marriage.
Wishing you a Shabbat of Shalom in the Home,
Rabbi Dovid and Chana Vigler
Chabad of Palm Beach Gardens
7025 Fairview Lane
Palm Beach Gardens FL 33418
561-624-2223 (561-6-CHABAD)
www.JewishGardens.com
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Community Announcements:
HIGH HOLYDAYS
Rosh Hashana begins on Sep. 24 this year. Services will take place at our beautiful new Shul, but space is limited. Please reserve your seats atwww.JewishGardens.com/HolyDays or 561-624-2223
Members of Chabad receive two complimentary seats and preferred seating. To join the Shul please visit www.JewishGardens.com/Join
We will be offering a Break the Fast Dinner this year after Yom Kippur by reservation only.
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Yizkor Memorial Book:
Please send us the name sand dates of your loved ones (or indicate if we have them already) to be included in the Yizkor Memorial Booklet on Yom Kippur:
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This Shabbos:
Kiddush Community Luncheon
Kiddush Luncheon (lox, whitefish and bagels) this week is sponsored by Lois and Stanley Miller in honor of Lois' Birthday and their upcomingwedding anniversary. It is also co sponsored by Cobi Fuchs in loving memory of his father, David, on the occasion of his Yahrtzeit.
Flowers are donated by Lauren Feingold and Merle Kam
Please join us each Shabbat morning for spiritual, soulful and social with friends!
We begin at 930am, Torah Reading at 1030am, Sermon 1130am Kiddush Community Luncheon just past noon. All Welcome.
If you'd like an Aliyah please ask Steve Sandberg, our ritual committee Chair.
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SAVE THE DATE;
Open House Celebration
of our New Shul
Sunday September 21, 2014
5pm
Community BBQ, Live Music, Vodka Tasting and Wine Bar, Cigar Bar,
Croquet & Bocce Competition
For the Kids: Bounce House, Petting Zoo
Come and Meet the Members of our warm and dynamic community in the beauty of our new Shul
at Chabad of Palm Beach Gardens
7025 Fairview Lane
Palm Beach Gardens FL 33418
This event is free and open to all
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Jewish Art Calendar and Program Guide
To advertise your small business or product, or to place an ad paying tribute to someone special:
www.JewishGardens.com/Advertise
NB: We are planning on printing community photographs from our events this past year. Please let us know if you don't want your photograph included in the Calendar for any reason.
Please send us your birthdays, anniversaries and Yahrtzeits to be included in the Jewish Art Calendar as well, making it a true community project!
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Your Kiddush in the Calendar
As we prepare our Jewish Art Calendar and Program Guide for print, please consider which Kiddush you would like to dedicate in the year ahead until October 2015 so we can publish it in the Calendar and reserve the date for you.
Reserve your Kiddush here
www.JewishGardens.com/Kiddush
Please contact Shelly Paolercio, our Kiddush Chair Lady, with any questions: [email protected] of 561-252-1609
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Shul Schedule:
Friday night Services: 6pm weekly
Shabbat Morning Services: 930am weekly
Sunday Mornings: 9-10am Schmooze Radio - 960am, 95.9fm and 106.9fm or www.SeaviewRadio.com Call in at 1877-960-9960
Mondays: 5pm Men's Talmud