Prayer is a word that apparently evokes deep emotion in many Americans. You might be surprised to learn that more than half of Americans say that they pray daily, and that one out of five Americans prays occasionally despite identifying as secular.
Recently, a self proclaimed sceptic in our shul, needed a miracle for his daughter. When he called me to daven for them, I knew immediately that this has to be serious. We both davened for her well being. Just weeks later when he conveyed to me the good news of her improved condition, we broke out into a spontaneous l'chaim, when even he admitted to me, that maybe, just maybe, there is power in prayer!
But isn't prayer essentially irreligious?
Irreverent as the question may seem, praying implies that you somehow know better than G-d and that He should change His mind and His decree to concur with your own. Who do we think we are that we dare change the will of the Almighty? Sounds like a lot of chutzpah!
Upon closer analysis, we might be misunderstanding the very definition of prayer.
The Hebrew name of anything identifies its true essence. If prayer was only about petition, it would be called bakasha. The Hebrew word tefillah is the verb for making clay into pottery: Refining raw material into function, purpose, and beauty!
When we pray, or daven, we are not asking G-d for stuff! We do that too, but that is not what it's about. To pray is to meditate. That's why the prayer book is filled with the beautiful poetry of King David, detailed descriptions of the wonders of creation, and Kabalistic reflections on the universe. We're not supposed to just read them in lip service; we're supposed to reflect deeply on them, one phrase at a time, thinking deeply about their meaning.
This meditation, typically at the very beginning of the day, synchronizes the tension between our spiritual souls and mundane bodies. All day, we are confronted with difficult choices: the morning meditations help set the spiritual tone of the rest of the day. Typically the inspiration lasts just a few hours and therefore we need to pray, to meditate and connect with the core of our being, as the sun rises once more.
Our sages thus explain how prayer works. When we are sublimated during prayer and request of G-d that He improve our fortunes, we are not changing G-d's will at all; rather, we are simply changing ourselves. The bad fortune affected the person we were before the prayer, the person we have become through the prayer meditation is not bound to the previous decree, and that's when our fortune changes for the good!
So, do yourself a favor. Reach for a siddur and read it in English. Take it slowly at your own pace. The meaning is relatively simply to understand. Find a paragraph you can connect to and read it over a few times. Then close your eyes and try to think deeply about it. Meditate. Allow yourself to be inspired by the theme and unleash the power of your G-dly soul. This will change you into a higher being, and improve your fortunes as well!