Of all the days on the Jewish calendar, the saddest is unequivocally the ninth of Av. It is the day that both Holy Temples were destroyed. For twenty four hours we fast and observe the laws of mourning sitting on low chairs listening to the recitation of the book of Eicha, recounting the terrible and gruesome story that befell the Jewish people over two thousand years ago.
They say 'don't cry over spilled milk'.
Wiktionary explains this to mean that 'It is no use worrying about unfortunate events which have already happened and which cannot be changed.'
This is a timeless lesson we teach our children every day. So you missed the bus? Don't let it ruin the rest of your day, find a way to get to your destination and make it a great day. Your childhood wasn't exactly picture perfect? Don't let it get in the way of your future.
But as Jews we seem to live quite the contrary constantly reliving and reviving past, not letting it go. Every single holiday is about memorializing the past - we are instructed to 'remember and never forget'. More like an obsession with the past, we don't just cry over the milk but try to feel as if we spill it again every single morning.
Amazingly, chassidus explains that we must be happy and not depressed. Do every good deed with joy.
How is it possible then to be spirited and upbeat while holding on to every event from days bygone?
As Jews we know that nothing happens by chance, but for an exact purpose. We are all part of G-d's elaborate plan of which each circumstance, milestone or misfortune holds particular significance.
Holding on to our past is about knowing where come from in order to propel us forward to where we are going. It is about keeping us focused, never forgetting who we are and where we come from. That we were slaves in Egypt but have become the 'chosen people', simply because that was G-d's wish. And that everything that happens is indeed G-d's desire.
This knowledge not only allows us but requires us to be truly happy, understanding that these are not just random incidents or a series of accidents, rather parts of one plot leading to a grand climax.
Because, when we are truly aware that it is all from G-d, we can not just have faith but believe he too can bring on the good days.
Almost like a riches to rags story of a wealthy man whose wheel has turned and although now a pauper, he keeps a set of his regal, beautiful clothing in a chest nearby so that he can constantly take a peek at them, remembering the good days, knowing that one day the wheel will once again turn.
The story is told of when Napoleon came upon a village to hear heavy bellowing and sobs from the local synagogue. Upon understanding that these were not tears of fresh or recent tragic events but the cries of Jewish people over the loss of their sacred Temple so many hundreds of years before, Napoleon exclaimed in awe, "A people that still mourns after 1600 years for its Holy Temple, will surely one day soon see it rebuilt!"
We cry because it hurts, because it is taking too long and the wound is cut too deep.
We are happy because we know that it's all from G-d. A G-d who loves us more than we know.
He alone can turn the wheel.
We dwell on the past and we are joyous about it because we realize that each event was necessary to bring us to the ultimate day when the wheel will once again turn and never turn again.
Tangie wrote...
Minerva wrote...